Finding the Gratitude By Deanna Joseph
	Being a homeschool Mom, I of course am trying to find as many fun and outdoorsy things to do with my kids as possible.   Sometimes these things are fun for the kids and myself, sometimes they are just fun for the kids and not so much for me.   But the point really is that I’m their mom, and this means sometimes I do things that may not seem exciting to me.    So when our local “Explorers” group leaders planned an overnight tent camping trip in the church garden for our young ones, I counted us in on the fun and did so with an open mind. So you can have some idea of the dedication I feel toward my kids, note that I haven’t been camping in 25 years and was more than a bit anxious about this coming experience.  But the kids were excited, so I talked my husband into the adventure.   Of course I then had to inform him that even though there would be a barbeque, there was no beer allowed.  I wasn’t going to suffer alone in this.    The evening started out great.   My friend Denise loaned us a tent, and I purchased a couple of sleeping bags and some of those egg-crate foam mattress pads so I knew I’d sleep as comfortably as I did in my own bed.   We had a campfire, grilled burgers and hotdogs, and of course roasted marshmallows for S’mores.   My husband brought his guitar and we sat around the campfire and sang our favorite hits of the 80’s as we didn’t know a single “camp” song.    The kids were all right with that as they were more interested in playing flashlight tag and “light as a feather, stiff as a board.”    With the gentle tunes of “Video Killed the Radio Star” and the sparkling night sky we watched our young ones have their first camping adventure. About 9:30 pm most of the kids were ready for bed.  They went willingly into their tents to chat quietly by the light of their flashlights.  With my kids tucked in safely and snuggly, Dave and I retired to our own tent.  This is where I discovered that those foamy egg crate pads did not do much in the way of providing comfort, though I am now considering filling in the holes in my driveway with them.  I also discovered that my legs didn’t like being held prisoner in a confining sleeping bag.   After three hours of tossing and turning I finally decided to completely unzip my sleeping bag and just use it like a blanket.  The next 10 or 15 minutes was spent struggling with a sticky zipper, at which point I nearly screamed in frustration.   I was exhausted and achy.    Dave, being very good-natured throughout my silent tantrum, whispered “bet a cold beer is sounding pretty good about now.”     Finally somewhat comfortable in my newfound freedom, I was able to lie on my back and look out into the night.   Our tent had a net top to it, so we could see the sky.  I lay there thinking about this great experience for the kids, while listening to a rooster crow (who, my friend Danielle informed me, was apparently on New Jersey time as he was about 3 hours early).   I thought about my son being so independent with wanting to share a tent with his little friend, and was starting to feel a little nostalgic for his baby days, when I saw a shadow go by our tent.    Nearly knocking the tent over, I grabbed my glasses to see if I could spot someone, and made Dave get up and go look around.   He looked, but couldn’t find anyone.   At this point I had been awake long enough that I now had to go to the bathroom.   On my way up to the bathroom I ran into Denise, one of our leaders, who caused the shadow across my tent.  She smiled good-naturedly and commented about the crazy roosters being up so early.  I pondered how she got out of her tent so quietly when my tent zipper sounded oddly like a chain saw. After many sighs of relief, I got back into our tent.  I was now ready to be comfortable and sleep soundly.   At 3:15am or so, and I figured I could still get a solid 4 hours of sleep, 6 if I were lucky.  I laid there, moving around a bit and getting used to the hard ground again.   More roosters started crowing.   Then I noticed a mockingbird doing all the calls of a car alarm.  Then I heard another mockingbird that sounded eerily like a scream.   With the screams came the barking dogs.    I tried breathing deeply, but found it very difficult to relax.    More roosters!   What was wrong with them?  I may not be a country girl, but at least I knew crowing is supposed to come with the sunrise.     Then that screaming mockingbird again, and the barking dogs.   More tossing and turning.   I looked at my cell phone clock.   4:30 am.   Then 4: 45am.   Crowing roosters… screaming mockingbird…. Queue the barking dogs.   4:55am.  Somewhere after that I fall asleep.  Not a deep sleep, but one of those delirious sleeps that you sometimes get with cold medicine.    Finally, getting close to sunrise the crows started waking up and searching for their breakfast.    Hundreds of “caws” filled the air as the flock of crows filled the sky.    Of course in my delirium I thought “wow, I never knew Yucaipa had so many herds of duck.”   Yes, I thought “herds of duck.”   See what a hard night I had?    At approximately 5:40am little Kevin shouted loudly throughout the campsite “Sun’s up, time to get up.” I looked at my cell phone and saw that I got almost a whole hour of sleep.   But that’s okay because in a strange and anxious way I found myself frantically happy to be awake and sitting up with no pressure to get back to sleep.   I left the discomfort of my cozy tent to find that Denise has already made a pot of coffee.    Now I feared that this was no ordinary pot of coffee.   It was “camp” coffee, you know, the kind of coffee that slightly resembles the oil you drain from your car with a wee bit of dirt mixed in.  I NEVER drink this coffee.   But I cannot tell you the sweet appreciation I felt with that hot cuppa as I sat around our now extinguished campfire with the other tousled parents slowly joining me the in caffeine experience.   I found that as I let myself feel grateful for this hot cup of coffee (Ambrosia really), that it was suddenly easier to feel grateful for many other things.  And that is how it is so many times in life.   While we are in the middle of our stressful situation it is so hard to find anything to feel thankful for.  We just have to reach out there and find our little cup of “camp coffee” and once we have that feeling of thankfulness, suddenly feeling thankful becomes so much easier. My children had a blast camping.   And I enjoyed the camaraderie shared with the other parents.  Now, by the light of a bright Monday morning, and a creamy vanilla cinnamon latte, I know I can do this experience again, and I would highly recommend it to all homeschooling parents.    But I do have two words of advice for everyone. Air Mattresses.
	© Deanna Joseph 2004
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